memyselfandfad

Holiday!

2010-11-26T05:57:00.003+08:00

I didn't really like Harry Potter NOT until I read the first 2 books (credits to my secondary school friends). And I stopped watching HP after The Prisoner of Azkaban. Reason? Cos I didn't really understand the story.

What's with the charms and spells, man? Aiyo.

Few days ago we went to Cathay to catch The Deathly Hallows and tell you what, it was awesome! :D and now I'm addicted to HP again. Bleargh.

Frankly, I don't know what to blog. Tumblr-ing is much more better these days! ;)

Off now.

Toodles.

Time Will Tell.

2010-10-23T01:27:00.002+08:00

Keeping things from the one you love doesn't mean you don't love him/her. It's just that you have no other choices, you don't want to fight anymore. So yeah..

It hurts.

You stab my heart, dear. It's bleeding. :')

Sharing Is Caring! ;)

2010-09-18T14:51:00.002+08:00

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE FOUND TRUE LOVE WHEN YOU HAVE NO TIME TO LOVE ANYONE ELSE … THAT’S LOVE.

WHEN HE KEEPS THE SHIRTS WITH HER PERFUME FOR DAYS ON END, SMELLING IT WHENEVER HE THINKS OF HER … THAT’S LOVE.

LOVE IS NOT BEING EVERYTHING IN A PERSON’S LIFE, BUT BEING THE MOST IMPORTANT PART … THAT’S LOVE.

WHEN YOU KEEP STAYING IN FRONT OF THE WEBCAM EVERY NIGHT JUST TO LOOK AT EACH OTHER EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE JUST SEPARATED BY A FEW KILOMETERS AND IT’S EASY TO MEET UP … THAT’S LOVE.

WHEN YOU’RE OKAY WITH HIM JOKING ABOUT CHEATING ON YOU BY HAVING A PRETEND PHONE CALL WITH HIS OTHER LOVER BECAUSE YOU ALREADY KNOW IT IN YOUR BONES THAT HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING .. THAT’S LOVE.

Confession

2010-09-15T06:04:00.005+08:00

Life isn't easy.

Life hasn't always been that hard to live in.

Moderate.

So why do people run away from life?

Is that the only choice that we have?

Running?

I doubt so.

We shall start off with building the steps. Plan it like architects, and build it. Use it and take the steps, we set our own rules. Sometimes, no matter how organized we are, we fail to achieve what we've planned for. No matter how perfect the plan is.

I don't know what I'm doing 6am in the morning, I just can't put myself to sleep, these eyes won't shut, this mind won't stop thinking. What's bothering me? I don't even know it either. Heh.

So many things happened, so many lessons learnt, how do I start then?

If someone happens to read this post, and I'm sorry for not being able to reach you and apologize. No, ego isn't supposed to be the first thing you should think of when you think of me. I'm just avoiding any possibilities that might happen. I'm just trying to make peace. Had enough of the fights and arguments. I wish we can settle down nicely. I doubt it's THAT nice, I wish we can talk things out. Not to bring back the past. I don't think so.

I'm sorry for ruining your life, not to mention that I thought it wasn't supposed to end this way. I'm sorry to put you into lots of troubles but I supposed you'd say that we were in that together. I'm sorry for the stupid fights and arguments that we had, but letting go or even leaving someone that you really love is hard. In this case, someone you really loved. Years (to my surprise), months, weeks and days. They fly so fast. The least that I can wish for is to bring back the good term.

It's pointless to say that I regret what I've said or done to you. After you left, I took years to understand where I've been wrong. I disagree when you say "first love is memories". No, first love is where you learn from mistakes, and try to improve yourself and find the better; one who suits the new you. It's not just about memories, it's also about learning. Understanding life better.

Now that I understand more about life, I understand what's exactly "give and take". I understand more about "listen and stop talking". I realise how important it is to show your appreciation towards others. Cause silence kills (not really, though). I don't want to be a judge who judges my own-self. I also don't need you to come back to see how far have I improved. But I hope that I've really changed for the better.

People might not understand the hard times I went through, REALLY HARD. Heh. But I've succeeded. :) not really, but I've achieved certain level of hardwork along the way. We want our life to be the way we dream of it, but it's not always true.

And thanks to you. :) I'm so much of a better person now.

Too much already, scared I've gone too far.

I love you, sweetheart. No, not talking about the past. :) today, present day. I'm in love with a different person from my past. I've always believed that, true love comes only once in lifetime. Put aside my strong belief (cause they say if you stop believing then things will stop happening), so I've stopped believing.

You came to me empty-handed. I wished I could remain faithful to my first love. But, no. I was stuck between the one who left me empty-handed and the one who's coming to me empty-handed. Confusing enough? Hahah. You came when I had nothing, I was empty, broken, heartless, 'love-less'. And you came with smile and laughter. I thought it was temporary. Part-time joker and full-time chat buddy. Like, it's funny how you used to be a stranger to me, and now, you're the world to me. :) everything, my everything.

It took me 2 months, 2 months to fall for you. I kept it inside, deep inside cause I was too scared to have a second rebound! HAHA. Ok, funny. -.- but, nothing you did tears me apart, nothing you said that never put smiles on my face. You're the light that shines. The trellis that shelter people from the rain.

And I'm in love with you. :) I still do. Back then, 9 months ago, I thought I was a fool. You'll never love me back, you won't stay that long, and etc. But you've proven me wrong, right? ;) you've changed. I'm thankful, proud of you. I've never met anyone like you before, you're strong enough to change almost your entire life for the one you love. I never forced you, never insisted, but .. :) I love you.

Ok, my head is spinning, off to sleep now. Meeting you later. Resident Evil in 3D and, I bet, spending time together after the very busy preparation for exams and raya? Ok, love.

P/S: I'm sorry, but past is past. I can do nothing to change that. You too. All of us, we can't do anything. :)

Resident Evil

2010-09-15T00:13:00.003+08:00

Spent few hours outside (Tampines, -.-), done some shopping with Dira and Mazni. Tiring yet fun.

Tomorrow is another day out. Gonna watch Resident Evil in 3D. It's been months since I last watched movies! Contented enough to have this one week holiday..

Supposed to sleep by now.. But I just can't shut these eyes. It's normal. Heh.

So I guess tomorrow's gonna be one of the days that I've been waiting for, see you tomorrow, love.

Assessment.

2010-09-04T22:38:00.003+08:00

Week 7.

1 more day left to 8th week of schooling.

Assessment weeks. Kinda hectic, but everything's under control compared to the first year.

DONE:

Research Seminar Group Presentation

Landscape Studies

Environmental Graphics

Basic 3D Visualization

SAS - Design & Media

COMING:

Spatial Design Studio

Public Sculpture

Design & Culture

Alhamdulillah, all hard work paid off. My group (Travis, Lucas, Sheetal and me), we were announced to be the best group. Alhamdulillah again, lecturer, Marienne Yang, announced that I've improved from previous presentations. Alhamdulillah, good comments from lecturer, Chris Chia for Environmental Graphics and also from my beloved form teacher, Edwin Cheong for Basic 3D Visualization.

2nd year, as expected, I need to move way too fast and sometimes I feel like I'm an outcast in class. The thought of not being able to do things THAT well, pulls me down. But I have every reason to get back on my feet and continue to slowly catch up with everything. If they do things once, I need to put EFFORTS to do twice or thrice. I even tried for more than 10 times! It's not easy. It's never easy. I need to get good grades, I need to catch up with everything and desperately want to go for attachment next year.

I don't really care now if people say I'm not good enough for this and that, I don't care what they really think of everytime they look at my models and stuffs. Cos I know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. :) cos they don't what I've been thru. The efforts I've put. The money I've spent. The time I've sacrificed.

Wish me luck.

YOU, thank you so much for everything. For every single thing you do, every single effort you put, every single reason why you're still here. :)

Gonna continue doing my work. Iftar with Debikz tomorrow, and with you the next day! All the best with your Eng. Maths paper! ;) don't flunk again ok?

When You Try Your Best..

2010-08-17T21:44:00.004+08:00

But you don't succeed.

When you get what you want, but not what you need.

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep.

And the tears come streaming down your face when you lose something you can't replace.

When you love someone but it goes to waste.

High up above or down below.

When you're too in love to let it go.

But if you never try you'll never know.

Shut myself out from the world there. Hoping that I can make it on my own.. I'm already tired of all these bullshits.

Yesterday.

2010-08-16T19:40:00.003+08:00

Yesterday marks another important event in my life. Cos yesterday your words felt like a knife. Yesterday was just simply one of the most heartbreaking day. Yesterday sucks. Yesterday..

Since then I've started to walk out from your life. I'm planning steps, rebuilding it and slowly will walk on it.

I dreamed a lot.. I know you say, I've got to get away.

"The world is not yours for the taking" is all you ever say.

I know I'm not the best for you but promise that you'll stay,

'cause if I watch you go, you'll see me wasting, you'll see me wasting away..

'Cause today, you walked out of my life

'Cause today, your words felt like a knife

I'm not living this life.

Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain..

And no matter where I go it's always pouring all the same.

These streets are filled with memories both good for detected pain..

And all I wanna do is love you but I'm the only one to blame.

'Cause today, you walked out of my life

'Cause today, your words felt like a knife

I'm not living this life.

But what do I know, if you're leaving.. All you did was stop the bleeding.

But these scars will stay forever, these scars will stay forever..

And these words have no meaning if we cannot find the feeling that we held on to together,

try your hardest to remember!

Stay with me,

Or watch me bleed,

I need you just to breathe.

'Cause today, you walked out of my life

'Cause today, your words felt like a knife

I'm not living this life.

Cause since then, you've marked a line between us. Why, why do you have to start everything? Why do you dare to challenge me, why? Why you underestimate my ability? And why, baby, why do you think that all those promises exist?

I doubt that you will regret losing me. So, farewell.

Tournament.

2010-08-02T07:48:00.003+08:00

Morning people! It's been awhile, been very busy with school works. :\ next week is the tournament. Finally. And yeah, Nir is getting engaged to her loved one. Congrats! And the tournament happens to be on the same day. :\ hopefully victory is ours.

Nothing much to update, and yeah, we're going to Botanic Garden with Mrs Yeo today. XD hopefully by the end of this year I can memorize half of the 1001 plants. -.-

Ok off now. Woke up early to finish up some works. Presentation later, praying hard. Chiaoz.

HACKER!

2010-07-29T16:56:00.003+08:00

Someone hacked my blog. Guess I need to delete it or change account! HAHA. :P cute ah konon. Ok, off to watch The Sorcerer's Apprentice with this sweetheart of mine. Chey, sweet ah konon. Ok off now! Toodles. XD

P/S: And yeah, since you drag me to the Cathay right, help me with my follies! :(( lazybumbum. BYE!

KEHKEH BB LAGI.

2010-07-29T16:32:00.004+08:00

eh best pe spam2 blog org? HHAHAHAHAHAH! sory darling. fad tatau aku msok acct die, kalau tk, bungkos aku.hehehhee i figured it out myself, amaciaaaam??pandai tak? *angkat2 kening*

well, im waiting for this bbykins of mine to abes skola. -.-" kate 4 30 leh klua?? tk kesah ah eh...popcorn ah ehh?tak kesah ah tk kesah!! *throw tantrums*
k bye bby's coming. da mcm blog aku plak.heh.

i miss you bby..see u later! hehe.

btw, HAPPY BFDAY TO ENON MOKMOK!

HI SAYANG! XD

2010-07-29T16:26:00.002+08:00

Hellloooo BB here. HEHEHEH. sorrrry ahhh org nak trespass pulak!! HEHE.

I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!!

see you later! hehehe xoxo

Bored.

2010-07-01T02:11:00.004+08:00

There goes the tears for tonight. Thanks for being so understanding, Fad. It's okay. Sabar je..

So I hate July. Cause it started with a stupid fight.

Now I'm a-lone, lone-ly, a lone-r. -.-

So that's it. Tried to be here and there everytime everyone wishes me to be there but no one's here right now. Hello? Where's everyone? Is anybody home? :\

To be sincere, I'm just sad right now. Good night. :')

My Major!

2010-06-28T17:48:00.003+08:00

Finally. What I've been waiting for all the time. The school posted this, I don't know when but accidentally saw MingYi's FB post to Ryan. Quickly logged on to the Student Net and I saw my name! Woah. Haha. Finally huh. Year 2! Alhamdulillah. However, Research Methodology is driving me insane. -.-

Oh yah, told the news to mum&dad. Hmmmmm.. Common outcome, common response = boring. Dad has been supporting from the start. Thanks dad! :)

Ok off now, meeting Enon to Police Station. Then maybe to the library to do some research. :\

oh yeah, I miss you. :D hee. Busy ke malam ni.. Sodih. Takpela, jumpe besok k. Tata!

Failure.

2010-06-24T16:23:00.005+08:00

I always thought that I'm a failure. I used to think that way since I was a kid. No one corrects me. Not even my family members. They really don't think I can make it, do they? I'm used to live my life by myself, I don't feel like I have a family when mine is just perfectly complete. Tell me, isn't that the same like some of my friends who have lost their mums or dads?

Entertaining people, doesn't really mean you're entertaining yourself, huh.

I'm in my lowest point of life, when I have no one around. ~~Family~~, they walk pass me everyday, but leave nothing memorable for me to remember. Like a loner, *mum loves it when I become a loner cause she hates my friends :)* like the last person on earth, I'm finding my way home. Hoping that you're the best place. A place where I can share love and life. Amiin. :)

Random

2010-06-15T04:29:00.002+08:00

So bored that I don't know what to do! =\

Watched The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, So You Think You Can Dance, NCIS, CIS! WTH. I can't sleep. *insomnia* -.-

Ok random.

Bye!

Miss ya! :)

When I Look At You, I See Me. :)

2010-06-13T13:38:00.004+08:00

Everybody needs inspiration

Everybody needs a song

A beautiful melody,

when the nights so long

Cause there is no guarantee,

that this life is easy..

When my world is falling apart

When there's no light to break up the dark

That's when I,

I look at you.

When the waves are flooding the shore

And I can't find my way home anymore

That's when I,

I look at you.

I see forgiveness

I see the truth

You love me for who I am,

like the stars hold the moon

Right there where they belong,

and I know I'm not alone..

You appear just like a dream to me

Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me

All I need every breath that I breathe

Don't you know you're beautiful

You appear just like a dream to me.

- Miley Cyrus.

There is no guarantee that this life is easy. :)

Stay strong.

It's Trust.

2010-06-13T12:39:00.001+08:00

Hmm. In case you didn't notice, that, I love you so much.

Don't wanna fight or argue cause I do.

Shit.

2010-06-13T01:13:00.002+08:00

Are you trying to ruin my night?

Excuse me, you didn't even remind me again or ask me again about that, how the hell you expect to remember? You don't even remember the exact MONTH of my birthday!

I'm so pissed with you. How could you like.. ARGH!

Listen eh, if you think by ruining my night simply by making me feel guilty satisfies you cause you'll be enjoying later, that changes my thoughts of you ah seriously.

I just can't believe it ah.

Sangkar,

2010-06-09T02:05:00.002+08:00

Aku seperti yang di dalam sangkar, menikmati jamuan yang disediekan, tak diberi izin untok keluar mencari bahan, terbang bermain seperti yang laen. Aku hanye menyepikan diri di dalam, hanye semate untok menunjukkan aku setie pade tuanku.

I Miss This Song :\

2010-06-08T07:29:00.004+08:00

MAYDAY PARADE
"Three Cheers For Five Years"

I swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt

I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you

To late, I'm sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words so sing along for me baby

For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening
And moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across the key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I'd give my heart as an offering

And I will always remember you as you are right now to me
And I will always remember now
Sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side
How does he feel, how does he kiss
How does he taste while he's on your lips
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you
I want to
But I can't forgive you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
I can't forgive you
I know you want me to want you I want to

Tears..

2010-06-07T01:20:00.003+08:00

Somehow it has changed my mind. But I can't help but switching it back to normal. Several reasons and assumptions that make me feel.. That's it, that's the right thing to do?

Just woke up from my short nap. Cause I felt something on my pillow. Wet. I cried when I was sleeping. Hmm..

I've a lot to say, but I don't feel like it. Maybe I'll just keep it. Keep it for some other day.

Morning :)

2010-06-05T07:25:00.004+08:00

Morning, world! :)

Hmm.. Didn't sleep last night. Dear John accompanied me for about an hour. Watched the movie for 2x, but I cried more than that. Couldn't help it. The movie meant a lot to me, for some reasons, it meant a lot for most of us. The story can be different from us, but just by the way it was 'presented' or filmed, it really touches my heart. I really love Nicholas Sparks. I've ever read an article about him, stated that he wrote every single one of his novel based on a true story; about him and family. *ouch*

So not used to wake up in the morning, I'm not so sure what to do first. I guess I'll start packing up my things, going to school for registration for my vacation module. I'm still not over it. I'm very disappointed with myself but I just can't do anything about it, cause nothing can ever change the fact that I failed the module. Hmm.

Was so motivated until I got the result. Like a partial of my dreams or hopes you can call it, crashed. I was trying very hard to make it, to try to impress myself and anyone, but I just can't make it. I won't give excuses, and I can't take this failure as a reason why I should give up. I can't possibly do that right? :(

Been very emotional these few days. A lot of things happened yet, Alhamdulillah.. Everything's under control.

Okay off now.

My life has changed a lot. =) thanks to you.

Failed One Module;

2010-06-04T03:33:00.005+08:00

Really in love with the song. :)

Gelora Di Hati Sara 1&2 are the best!

Done editing my new songs. Now that I've decided to start to 'promote' my songs cause my dad somehow asked me to do so. Dengar cakap bapakla, kan.. :)

Sad, failed one of my module. Really sad. Cause I managed to pass all my modules in 1st Semester. Gonna retake my Research Methodology during my vacation. So that I don't need to squeeze in the subject for my Year 2. Alhamdulillah, next July I'll be in Level2000. But I'm still waiting for my major. I've chosen Environmental Design. I don't know which major they'll put me in.

I'm so down but when I got the result, you were next to me. I couldn't take it but cried. I'm so disappointed with myself, and I hate it when I need to tell my mum about it. Haish. Other modules were fine, and I got B for my guitar. Contented enough, though.

Thanks for being there. I know it's hard for you to stop me from crying! LOL. Cause I'm way too disappointed with myself. But thank God I found you.. :)

I Miss You,

2010-06-03T05:02:00.002+08:00

I miss you a lot.

It brings tears to my eyes,

at this hour.

I'm missing you badly..

Wish you were here.

At Tampines.

2010-05-28T21:08:00.002+08:00

At my aunt's place. Gonna sleep over tonight. Tomorrow is Mazni's big day. Gonna wish her all the best. :) bole punye, k? Insya Allah dapat Gold k.

Gonna see her at performing at Bedok, I don't know where exactly the place. But then it's ok, Singapore isn't that big, right. Hee. :D

Adeih. Aku yang nervous!

Ok, then. Nothing much to say, menses cramp. -.- anyway, I'm so motivated nowadays. Learning more about how to make floorplan. YouTube helps a lot, Doug Patt especially. I'm so addicted. Ok, that's it.

Nite. :D

Motivated!

2010-05-26T09:25:00.002+08:00

Morning, people! =D

Cooking breakfast for myself. Hee. Going for a job interview today! With Enon. Very much excited.

I still got another 2 more months to go, not exactly la kan, so I'm occupying myself with some revision! =) so I can have a better understanding before I take my major this July, insya Allah.

Ok, off now!

I miss you. :D

In Love, XD

2010-05-21T23:24:00.002+08:00

Brother composed a song for mum. And he put my picture inside the video! How sweet was that? Adeih. Takle angs.. Pedih2.

I love you, bro. And I love you too, mum.

At the same time, I did compose a song for mum also. What a coincidence, bro. :)

I love you, dad. Hee.

I love you, love.

I love us. :)

And Yeaaaaaah.

2010-05-21T09:59:00.002+08:00

Life was kinda hectic last few days, but alhamdulillah everything was under control.

Been helping mum and her friends at work. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I ain't doing anything besides that. -.-

I need to work. But I am so freaking lazy to go look for job! OMG, I'm so lazy.

Haven't watch The Last Song yet. Very very very sad. :( gonna watch it next week, this time for real maaaaaaaan! Hish.

Ok, going to accompany Ainul and Yani to look for jobs! Hopefully they have a lot of vacancies out there. So I can join them! Ok, enough for now.

Anyway, I've been craving for TomYum since yesterday. Ate TomYam twice! =D

Ok now, no more TomYum. Gonna cook something for you. ;)

Maybe,

2010-05-18T01:07:00.002+08:00

it's the effing PMS. Or maybe it's just me.

I don't think it's PMS problem.

I think this is real.

Everytime I try to make my way, but I'll end up turning back.

No talkings needed here, I guess. Cause I need to stop arguing.

I'm on my own.

Finally,

2010-05-17T06:00:00.004+08:00

today's gonna be a long day with mum. Will be taking care of the small kids, which I've never EVER liked, but please, don't ask about sincerity. C'mon, life isn't about your own personal wants and needs right.

Gonna wear dark maroon kurta today! Waaaaaaaaaah. It's been years since I've worn kurta! *exaggerate k ni* ok, so I woke up so early today and I don't know what to do. Need to be outta here at 7! Cause the bus leaves at 7:15 and that' s what my mum told me.

Stop typing can? Ok guys, chiaoz. :D *peace

And yeah, hope to see you soon!

Let's watch The Last Song on.............................................................. Wednesday? LOL. Bye!

Loooooooong Day Tomorrow.

2010-05-16T22:59:00.002+08:00

Going to zoo with mum and staffs and children *sejak bile entah aku suke* -.- anyway, cause it's free; means everything is free. :D

I'm not that sure if tonight we can talk (like any other nights). Cause, you're sleeping when I'm awake, I slept when you were awake. Is it fated that way? Anyway, I've been missing you. A lot.

Haven't watch The Last Song yet. If only we've got the time to watch together.. Haish.

Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, I'm bored.

Waiting for you.

Guess?

2010-05-16T07:32:00.003+08:00

Still haven't sleep yet..

Composed 2 songs from 5am. :) tired! But I don't want to sleep. Feel like playing guitar the whole day without break. HAHA! -.- cannot make it la. Think, gonna sleep at 8. :)

"Bila gundahmu tak menghilang,

hentikan dulu dayung kita.."

I Wonder,

2010-05-16T03:12:00.002+08:00

why do we fight when it takes up most of our time spent together. When we can show love and care towards each other. I wonder, why when we love each other and we have to fight? Isn't life has a lot more important/beneficial stuffs to do?

I love you,

only that matters.

Work Work Work.

2010-05-11T14:40:00.004+08:00

Going to school for the graduation show at 6pm. Will be working night shift today and tomorrow. 10pm-8am. Gosh, first experience, means, no sleep at all. :\

Hopefully everything's gonna be fine. As planned.

I'm gonna miss you.

Anyway, applying for another job, maybe later. Tomorrow, maybe. Hopefully I can make it. Need to work, cause I need to buy a lot of things. For my 2nd year, insya Allah (kalau dapat naek, ye.. Amiin amiin amiin.)

Ok now I got nothing to do. But looking for something to pass the time. Adeih.

See y'll.

And yeah, the chalet thingy. Shitty.

Engkau Harga Diriku,

2010-05-11T01:22:00.002+08:00

:)

ILY.

Visited Nenek just now. She was doing just fine.. I think she misses me. :) cause she grabbed my hand like never want to let go.

Life's never been easy. It's getting tougher and tougher. Praying hard to survive..

Love,

2010-05-09T20:08:00.002+08:00

I'm really tired these past few weeks.

Now I'm tired of these days. Seriously.

Hoping things will end soon,

and hoping that not us that will end soon.

A Notebook ♥

2010-03-11T02:13:00.003+08:00

I'm gonna write these letters for you, every day/night, and I'm gonna spell everything in the notebook. ♥

Life has not been that easy, but it's wonderful. =)

Schoolwork? Hmmmmm. Few more weeks to the end of the first year, and I doubt it's going to be easy. I can foresee the terrible headaches, sleepless nights, panda eyes and it is sooo unglam! 0.o

Been eating Bolognese, I think few times this week. I'm crazy over recipes, pls. :\ blame on Mazni, though! LOL. And she needs to bake something for me, GUYS, SHE NEEDS TO BAKE FOR ME. *take note of that ok? Hee* guess what? My mum insists me to learn how to bake from her. HELL NO, YEAH. -.- there're lots and lots of things which is more important and beneficial than baking. *I'm starting to love cooking (more I mean).*

Ok, FAD STOP WASTING TIME. -.- and yeah, guitar class just now was err.. It went well and I played Morning Rain, and the whole class was listening to it! OMG. Can you believe it? =DD heeeee. Learning classical guitar isn't that easy. NO, NOTHING IS EASY. -.- hehe.

Ok, FAD, YOU REALLY NEED TO STOP WASTING TIME. See ya, guys. Take care! =) chiaoz.

And yeah, I'm in love with you. HAHA! ;)

Hate That I ♥ You,

2010-03-08T00:32:00.002+08:00

[Rihanna:]
That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile?

[Ne-Yo:]
But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget that I was upset
Can't remember what you did

[Rihanna:]
But I hate it..
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long, that's wrong

[Ne-Yo:]
But I hate it..
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

[Rihanna:]
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so.

[Ne-Yo:]
You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh

[Rihanna:]
Said it's not fair how you take advantage of the fact
That I love you beyond the reason why and it just ain't right

[Ne-Yo:]
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me..

You know exactly what to do,
and.. that makes me love you even more. ;)

For You.

2010-03-01T23:17:00.003+08:00

Dear Love,

sometimes, you don't have any idea why things are happening. Sometimes, you just don't know the reason why it happens. But the most important thing is, things happen for reason(s).

I know it may sounds irresponsible, ridiculous and stupid, but I think that's the only thing that I've been thinking all these while. To be exact, I don't even know what's bothering me. Tell me when the feeling's gone for few days, tell me so maybe I should stop expecting something. Tell me when the feeling's off to somewhere you can't tell, tell me so maybe I should stop be close to you for few hours.

Sounds selfish, right.. But we are humans.

Because I can tell, I can sense, and what my vibe says is, it's empty. Nothing. I feel nothing.. And it hurts.

Yes, it hurts.

And I'm hurting.

Sorry for expecting too much from you, no, I'm not expecting anything. But I'm still learning from this.

Take care. Sorry.

I love you.

I Wish You Knew.

2010-02-17T00:32:00.001+08:00

It's so hard to say this, but I wish you knew.

Dalam Hidup Tak Seindah Yang Tersirat. :)

2010-02-14T01:57:00.004+08:00

Wassup! =))

Now it's 2am. I'm still awake, with papers here and there on my study table, Longman dictionary, files, and of course not forgotten, my phone. ;)

Done with my guitar's journal. 3 more assignments to go! Means that I need to sit in front of this lappy for hours this 3 consecutive days. :( nah, it's okay. Since I'm really motivated these few days. HeE~

Been listening to Selembut Sutera since 7 hours ago?! Makeih. On repeat sia. Naseb mak aku tak ngamok! HAHA. Lagu lame giler k ni. Sooo tahon 2000! *mase aku P5 k, thanks. Kecik2 da suke melalak. LOL* k la, sharing is caring. BTW, thanks to Mazni la ye sebab dengarkan lagu ni balek. -.-

I Feel So Fresh,

2010-02-08T13:10:00.004+08:00

that I thought love has just came to me. I feel something new though I know it's been weeks. I thank God for having you here with me, you complete me. =) thanks to you who've been standing tall, staying strong to push everything away. I'm hoping that even within a short period, I can feel the changes in our life. The thing that we've shared, we smile and laugh thru the lamest joke in the world, we tear and cry because of the most petty thing! *LOL*

Last but not least, I love you.

Hanya Ingin Kau Tahu,

2010-02-06T23:51:00.002+08:00

this song, never fails to make me cry. I can never get bored listening to them.

BETTER.

2010-02-06T14:25:00.003+08:00

Feeling much much better than yesterday. :) woke up at 9+ and found myself smiling to my phone. Hehehehehe.

Thanks, dear for being here and there. If I didn't get a chance to tell you this, I'm gonna tell you now.. That I appreciate every single thing you've done, and I'm gonna treasure you.

Mum told me not to go out today, don't know why. But nobody's gonna stop me from going out tomorrow! HeheeE. Datey datey.. LOL!

Stomach ache! :( don't feel like doing my work. Gonna finish up reading Nicholas Sparks books then off to study.

Anyway, thanks Farah and Hyrun for the birthday treat! I love both of you. =) hopefully by CNY, Debikz will meet up soon. Take care, chiaoz!

A fraud.

2010-02-06T01:24:00.004+08:00

What a tiring day. Haven't sleep since I last posted yesterday. Don't know how I've made it til this moment. Still emotionally unstable, like yesterday. Not much difference. No difference at all, to be precise. One more day to go, yeah, am not excited at all. I was, on the first day of the week, now? Not sure.

What is it bothering me I can't even figure out. Or maybe I've figured it out but nothing much I can share here. Cause some things you just can't express it into words. Sounds so emo, right. Feel like crying now and then but the tears are hiding inside, don't seem like they want to show up any time sooner.

Hectic life at school. Butterflies everywhere, not only in my stomach, is in my head, my mind, my brain, my heart. Where all of them can't even function well.

Sometimes when you're acting weird, people don't understand. Certainly, they seem to care-less about it or maybe I don't want people to care about it. So much to express these few days, *I know, it's only yesterday -.-* life has been very boring, dull, bla bla bla bla bla.

Gonna read my book and lullaby myself to sleep. Night, everyone. :)

Stop Depending On Others.

2010-02-05T04:36:00.002+08:00

Emotionally unstable lately. So been thinking too much, I guess. Some of the thoughts, I must say that I agree with them. And the one that I've been thinking so much about it lately is to stop depending on others. I'm independent, and I'm quite sure about it. But lately, I'm not, and I'm very sure about that too.

Got a lot of things to do, settle. Homework is piling up. And I'm freaking tired, to the extent of not sure where to begin. My life's kinda messed up. Everything goes wrong, feels so wrong and can't even think of the right thing to do. Feeling so hopeless, helpless.

Trying to get my goals straight. Figuring out how my life has changed since then.. My discipline like gone nowhere to be found. Feels like an idiot, and I hate these feelings.

I just hate it so much.

For You Only.

2010-02-01T03:11:00.003+08:00

I don't expect much from you. We both know the truth, and we've known that from the start. What kind of truth is that? It's the feeling that we've shared.

I kinda wondering why that sentence stops me and makes me think.

Maybe it's me, or it has always been me? Maybe I should agree, or maybe.. Would you wanna hear from me?

I don't ask that much. Sometimes I don't even seem to care, you know what's the reason I'm here and there? It's because I'm scared. What makes you think it's easy and it all can be said and done?

I know things have been so difficult though it's only been weeks. You've been so patient with me, and I appreciate that. You've made life much more livelier than before. You've shown the true meaning of love. Did I ever tell you, the changes, make me fall for you even deeper? I can't help but tell the whole world how I've fallen for an angel.

Isn't it too much? I'd do anything I can for you. Even words can't describe that much, even feelings can't show that much.. But, I love you.

Life isn't that easy. And I don't take easy way out. Cause if one day, I'll be taking advantage of you, and you'll be taking advantage of me, than what's left for us is just that. Before the time comes, and through the thick and thin of our daily lives, I'd rather choose to show how much I love you than regretting for not letting you know.

Loads of love;

Fadilah Jasmani.

Bery Busy. LOL!

2010-01-27T00:29:00.003+08:00

Hey, world! HEHE. I miss blogging! :( I'm so freaking busy with school stuff, can't afford to spend my PRECIOUS 15mins time to blog.

Learn a lot of new things in school for this new semester. It's like the happiest moment ever when I first stepped into the Guitar class! Mr Sani is so damn good. Tak bedek! K next thing, trying to organize my school stuff, eg: homework & research, files & folders, projects & assigments.. Freaking hard to manage, but Alhamdulillah everything's under control. Trying to hand in works on time.. Delay no more. HeE. NO LAST MINUTE WORK, PLS. -.- eheheheh.

Loads to update about school. How I'm starting to love my school! LOL. And, I'm improving my sketching & rendering skills, and so on la kan. So, OVERALL, I love memyselfandfadz! HAHAHA. LOL. Random k ni..

Guess, that's about it. See y'll. Tc!

And yeah, next Sunday. =) 7th February 2010? Will officially be my 20th years of living in my small little world.

And yeah also, glad to be here with you; family and friends,

and.. You, especially. :)

Dengar Bisikku.

2010-01-17T11:33:00.003+08:00

Kadang aku berfikir,

dapatkah kita terus cuba..

Mendayung perahu kita,

menyatukan ingin kita?

Sedang selalu saja,

khilaf yang kecil mengusik..

Bagai angin berhembus kencang,

goyahkan kaki kita.

Genggam tanganku jangan bimbang,

tak usahlah lagi dikenang..

Naif diri yang pernah datang,

jadikan pelajaran, sayang.

Dengar bisikanku, oh dinda,

cuba lapangkan dada kita..

Terima aku apa adanya,

jujur hati yang kita jaga.

Bila gundahmu tak menghilang,

hentikan dulu dayung kita..
Bila kau ingin lupakan aku,

ku tak tahu apalah daya.

Dengar Bisikku by The Rain

Open House @ NAFA & La Salle.

2010-01-16T11:39:00.003+08:00

It's Saturday!! =DD yet loads of homework waiting! Getting ready to go to school. OPEN HOUSE!! I want the goodie bag! Hampeh. -.- students tak dapat.

Ok, gonna be late! Bobois. Chaoz.

School School School. =)

2010-01-14T22:09:00.006+08:00

NAFA Open House 2010;

15th & 16th January 2010
10:30am - 5:00pm

Meeting Nurvena at Bras Basah early in the morning, gonna buy some school stuffs including 20 COPIC MARKERS THAT COST AROUND $100! -.- gonna die soon. Hmph. Reserved Adobe CS4 from Popular @Bras Basah and gonna get them tomorrow! Yeay~ at last ok. Huhu.

Anyway, first week of school, was fun. Guitar lesson was awesome!! HeE~ Mr Sani is so damn good!! He used to play lefthanded-guitar anyway.. ;) AND, guess what, am the only lefthanded in the class. *malu k! -.-*

Guess, that's all for now. Waiting for Mazni, *blaja agame ke kak? LOL!* to accompany her to do her school stuff! Collage. --. ok, need to plan for next week schedule! Chaoz.

Hot.

First Day Of School.

2010-01-11T18:58:00.002+08:00

I miss school, HAD FUN sketching. -_- gonna start sketching 'til I die. LOL.

Can't wait for tomorrow second lesson at 2, "Introduction to Video Production". I don't know why on earth I've chosen this module for my CDS. -.- anyway, something new. P/S: Music lecturers, PLEASE be good to me this Wednesday! :

That's when ILY.

Demos.

2010-01-08T11:37:00.001+08:00

Guys, after soooOooo long, AT LAST ok, I've uploaded these 4 songs (DEMO), and yeah.. Enjoy listening! Though, it may not be THAT good, well, music comes from the heart. =)

The Best Gift by Farah featuring Hyrun (Guitar)

Pergi by Yati

Tak Dihargai by Husna

Wujud by Husna

Nothing, But Love.

2010-01-07T12:37:00.002+08:00

A perfect day is everyday I'm spending my life with you
I can't explain how I fall in love with everything that you do
God sure must like me more than I ever knew
Cause I could never ask for more from love and life than you

Cause I'm lost in the grace of your smile
To fall in your love is a place I could spend my life
I know we could take on the world; just you and me
With nothing but love

And seeing you is seeing how you're making my life so complete
And knowing you will share all your joy and pain and laughter with me
God sure must like me more than I ever knew
Cause I could never ask for more from love and life than you

And if the sky would fall down and crash into the sea
I know that I will still have you, baby, and you will still have me
And that's all we'll need.

Off to TP Open House. Jumpe makcik photographer! LOL. Da lambat sey ni. HAHAHA! -.- k bye bye bye!

Suddenly..

2010-01-05T23:55:00.003+08:00

Aku rindu skola.
Aku rindu Alsagoff.
Aku rindu classmates.
Aku rindu performances.
Aku rindu cikgu2. (Cikgu Sal; slalu kene kacau ngan aku. Cikgu Su; aku slalu tido time Sejarah *padehal aku peveret!*)
Aku rindu Sec4. (Klas tonggang terbalik! Nyanyi2 ngan Mdm Rahimah..)

Aku rindu skola. =(

Happy 19th Birthday, KEMETOT! =DD

2010-01-05T12:00:00.002+08:00

Happy 19th Birthday!

*satu line je untuk si ketot ni! HAHAHA.*

Monday.

2010-01-04T08:48:00.003+08:00

Going to school later to settle the fee with Farah. Then to City Hall to meet Hyrun, and lepak. =)

Surprisingly, woke up early and never went back to sleep.. Waiting for someone to siap *peh lame, padehal nakgi skola je! -___- LOL!* I'm so bored, gonna watch tv later.

Anyway, can't wait for next week. School reopens 11th Jan. Can't wait also for the two new modules! Guitar, especially. =D heE~ been practicing.. Though, not a lot, but trying my very best. Fuh~

Ok, off to sleep! LOL! *padehal cakap tanak tido.. HAHA!*

Bye bye bye! =D

HAPPY NEW YEAR! =D

2010-01-02T01:29:00.003+08:00

Eh, da lambat eh? :P anyway, Happy New Year, everyone!

Enjoyed my last day of the year, BBQ-ed @ aunt's place with cousins. Watched Sherlock Holmes! And it was AWESOME. No seats left for us except for 1st row and separate seats.

So New Year.. What's new? Hmmmmmm.

School's gonna start soon. 11th January.. Have chosen Video Production (from Design&Media) and Guitar (from Music) for Cross-Disciplinary Subject! HeE~ so Wednesday is going to be a very busy day for me. Gotta bring my own guitar to school! Huhu. Aiming for GOOD grades. REALLY REALLY GOOD GRADES. =)

Now, it's everything about art and music.

now, it's two.

This February!

2009-12-28T16:47:00.001+08:00

OMG! OMG! OMG! Guess what? "Dear John" will be out this coming February. The book was really damn good, ok. Gonna watch it, for sure. *insyaAllah* hehe. Oh, yeah.. It's from the same author of "The Notebook" and "A Walk To Remember". And also, "Nights In Rodanthe". OMG, I am so excited! =D

Not forgotten, "Valentine's Day". These are the reasons (movies, movies, movies) why I love February so much. Haha!

Can't help myself, so I blog about the movies. Not doing anything from just now, just searching for new movies.

Movies, movies, movies.

And last one, "My Name Is Khan".

K done. =DD

*Make youself free for me, pls. LOL. Anyway, February mah. Hahaha!*

Xmas Eve @ Somerset, Orchard & Tampines! LOL

2009-12-24T23:08:00.003+08:00

OMG. I'm sooo addicted to this song! I'm thinking two is better than one~~ heE. Been listening to this from morning to night, night to morning k. NONSTOP. LOL~ da, ganti lagu Thinking Of You. HAHA!

"Jalan2" was fun! From Heeren to Orchard Central, and the garden (Eeks told me) was really OKAY, ok! And terlupe gile nak snap the view~ guys, y'll should pegi. Tenang je tempat.. Cume leceh nak naik. AND! Jangan pegi time holiday k, pls. -.-

THEN, off to ION. Tiring but had fun.. Oh, tak ketinggalan tolong mak pat mesjid! LOL. =D

Maybe it's true~ =)

2Weeks.

2009-12-24T00:05:00.003+08:00

Been listening to Boys Like Girls featuring Taylor Swift - Two Is Better Than One. I'm lovin' it! HeE~

Gonna help mum tomorrow at her workplace, then off to Somerset *last min lagi~ -.-*. HeeheE~ see u there, BB! =p sorry Nir and Sheyda. Takle join korang~ laenkali k, babes? Nanti ape kate si budak babat ni. HeE. :P

It's been 2 weeks. Wishing it's 2 months. Cepat k, tak bedek! LOL.

K, guys, off to bed! =D tc, chaoz.

Maybe it's true..
Two is better than one.
♥ily♥

PUNKROCKISME. =D

2009-12-22T03:38:00.004+08:00

The first punk rock song I listened to and that was like 2 years ago?! LOL! From No Use For A Name called International You Day. Here's the Live+PunkRock version and Live+Acoustic version.

I'm sorry that it took so long,
to write this song..
~~But I gave up!~~
You see one million words can't describe,
how it feels..
to know your love.

Where did I go wrong?
I should have told you from the start,
that I'm closer than you think..
When we're apart!

Nothing that I've tried
is as simple as this line..

But without you..
My life is incomplete,
my days are absolutely gray!
And so I try..
Let your heart know for sure,
that I have so much more to tell you.
Every single day..

I swear I'm giving up my inside,
to the one..
that I adored.
I know this world is big enough,
for you and I..
but I'll give you more!

I'm coming home today,
to wipe the tear drop..
From your eyes..
I'm totally,
enamored..
By your life!

Nothing that I've done,
has ever been for one..

So wake me up before you leave today,
something I need to say..
Cause there'll be nothing,
~~when you're gone!~~

HeE~ enjoy.

Erk?! 3:58am. GTG. Chaoz.

Terribly Sick,

2009-12-18T21:21:00.003+08:00

Terribly sick. High fever. Mum's taking care of me.. CANNOT TAKE IT, OKAY! -.- ya Allah, sembuhkan aku. :( saket sangat kepale ni..

Listening to D'Masiv - Rindu Setengah Mati. Feel like dying also.. Heh.

P/s: Pls, wake me up. Thanks..

Surprise! =D

2009-12-17T02:06:00.003+08:00

Hey, guys!

Yesterday was awesome. Really, Dira, Husna and Farah were here. Did 2 recordings, which means 2 songs. Alhamdulillah, berjaye jugak akhirnye hasilkan 4 lagu. =)

Yesterday was also THE BEST DAY k, untok minggu ni. HeE~ thank you so much for the surprise. It was sooooOoooo heartbreaking k at first. HAHA! Tapi after that, da join balek da. K lame. -.- heE~ tros senyom tak stop eh. =D =D =D

K, just composed a new song. Untittled k, tak tahu nak letak ape. Huhu. Plucking plucking plucking. =) =) =)

Nga sharing ngan Farah lagu Eren - Takkan Pisah. K, sedih giler~~ tak bedek. Huhu. Ni nak share, dengar k..

Tanak pisah, k. Serious. :\

Kaaaaay, how about aku blom start buat keje?! Stop khayal, please Fad. HeE~ k get back to work. Tc, guys!

I'm waiting for morning to come,
that voice I've always missed.
IMY.

It's Trust. --,

2009-12-15T03:22:00.005+08:00

What do you do when you see something good when others can't really see them?

Jamie: Landon, look, I thought I saw something in you, something good, but I was very wrong. (A Walk To Remember)

I love the change in you. =) hoping it could last. And I know, you are better than you've ever been! Trust, baby trust. HeE~ *I'll keep this here, so I can remember every single word*

Here we go..

Your kiss, your smile, your mind,
you're sunlight in my eyes..
I miss your breath on my neck,
when we whisper in the night.

Didn't wanna want you, didn't wanna need you so bad,
didn't wanna wake up, and find that I was falling so fast..
Didn't wanna need you, didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done.

Now I can't go on without you..
I'm naked, I can't fake it.
I'm not that strong without you,
never thought I could love you the way I do..

Your touch, your skin,
can't believe the way you let me in.
Don't rush tonight,
I need you like the ocean needs the tide..

I always thought I would stand on my own..
Climb a mountain top all alone,
relying, depending on no one.
Now look at what you've done!

TYSM. =)

The Art Of ♥. =)

2009-12-13T16:45:00.005+08:00

I’m saying sorry in advance,
cause this won’t always go to plan
Though we don’t mean to take our love for granted..
It's in our nature to forget what matters.

How when the going is getting tough,
and we’re all about giving up
Things that we never thought we’d say, gonna say them..
Things that we never thought we’d play, gonna play them.

It ain’t perfect,
but it’s worth it
And it’s always getting better..
It’s gonna take some time to get it right.

Cause I’m still learning the art of love,
I’m still trying to not mess up
So whenever I stumble let me know..
You need to spell it out for me.

Cause I’m still trying to learn the art of love..

If I forget to get the door,
remind you that you’re beautiful..
I know my detail requires more attention,
if I ever hurt you it’s not my intention.

Cause we’re gonna make our mistakes..
Find out how much your heart can take,
but I know that you got my back,
And baby I got yours.

Sometimes I’m gonna miss..
I’m still learning how to give,
I’m not giving up.
I’m still learning how to love..

Do Support! =D

2009-12-10T23:00:00.003+08:00

Wujud by Husna
Lyric and Music by Fad & Juan

Hey, guys!

At last, k. This is the "almost-done-song". Song written/done by me. Background , as usual, originally wasn't that good till Juan helped me, I mean, us, out. Thanks, bro! =)

Do support and comment, guys! Love y'll. Chaoz.

I'm Yours.

2009-12-10T01:17:00.006+08:00

You touch these tired eyes of mine,
and map my face out line by line,
and somehow growing old feels fine..
I listen close for I'm not smart,
you wrap your thoughts in works of art,
and they're hanging on the walls of my heart..

I MAY NOT have the softest touch.
I MAY NOT say the words as such.
And though I MAY NOT look like much.
I'm yours..
And though my edges may be rough.
And never feel I'm quite enough.
It may not seem like very much.
But I'm yours..

You heeled these scars over time,
embraced my soul, you loved my mind,
you're the only angel in my life..
The day news came my best friend died,
my knees went week and you saw me cry,
say I'm still the soldier in your eyes..

Went out to SR. Met Zali and collegues! I MISS ZALI SO MUCH. Like always, she nagged at me. HAHA! =p BUT I LOVE IT. HeE~ Teman was there also. Ate Brownie Walnut with Vanilla ice-cream, fuh~~~ sodap. =D *sejak bile je suke choc ngan ice-cream! LOL*

6th Dec 2009.
You told me "I love you."

10th Dec 2009.
You told me "I'm yours."

Lemme tell you sonething, baby..

"I love you. And I'm yours."

RESULTS OUT! ;)

2009-12-08T20:31:00.003+08:00

First of all, الحمد للّه .

Second, AKU PASS LA sey. HAHAHA! :P means, aku takya retake mase 3rd Year! *insya Allah* Wuuuhuuu~~

Third, "LET'S CELEBRATE, BB!" Hehe. ;)) besok k, besok. Insya Allah jadi!

Was chatting with Dira, told her.. "Allah sayang aku sia *oops, HAHA!*.. Kasi aku BB, kasi aku pass, kasi lagu aku jadi sedap!" Hahax. Seriously, I'm contented. Thanks, Allah! =D

Aku tak stop senyom ni.. LOL. Err, *sejak bile aku da stop senyom eh skarang? HAHA!*

K, guys~ chaoz. LALALALALALALALALA~~

Chalet.

2009-12-07T16:31:00.002+08:00

Hello~~

Was looking at last Saturday chalet pictures, suddenly feel like posting something. LOL. Anyway, chalet was great, dragshow was awesome, and everyone had fun. ME TOO. :P *k, tak penting.* thanks for accompanying me, budak babat. HAHA! *oops*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ZALI! HeE~ *padehal smalam, LOL* happy to meet Zali, at last! Been missing her so much sia. -.- been missing working at SR. Maybe, MAYBE, hehe, this Wednesday? Going there with BB (budak babat) LOL! New family member.. HAHA.

Waiting for Eeks. On her way.

GTG, chaoz.

imy.

Karna, Ku Sayang Kamu!

2009-12-07T05:30:00.002+08:00

Fallen for Dygta - Karna Ku Sayang Kamu. Fallen for the music. Fallen for the lyric. Fallen for the sender. LOL!

"Seandainya kau ada di sini denganku, mungkin ku tak sendiri
Bayanganmu yang selalu menemaniku, hiasi malam sepiku

Hati ini selalu memanggil namamu, dengarlah melatiku.."

Erk. Kol 5?! -.- waiting, waiting, waiting. =)

TY. =)

2009-12-04T01:44:00.002+08:00

Hello.

HeE~

"When the visions around you, bring tears to your eyes. And all that surround you, are secrets and lies. I'll be your strength, I'll give you hope.. Keeping your faith when it's gone." "Thanks."

Hello. =)

2009-12-03T05:23:00.002+08:00

I love this song since P5! HeE~

Hello,

let me know if you hear me, hello?
If you want to be near, let me know..

And I'll never let you go.

Hey, Love,

when you ask what I feel I say "love"!

When you ask how I know I say "trust".

And if that's not enough..

It's every little thing you do,

that makes me fall in love with you.

There isn't a way that I can show you
ever since I've come to know you..
It's every little thing you say
that makes me wanna feel this way.
There's not a thing that I can point to
'cause it's every little thing you do..

Don't ask why..

Let's just feel what we feel.
'Cause sometimes..
It's the secret that keeps it alive.

But if you need a reason why..

Is it your smile?
Or your laugh?
Or your heart?
Does it really matter why I love you?

Anywhere there's a crowd,
you stand out.. Can't you see why they can't ignore you?
If you wanna know why I can't let go,
let me explain to you..

That every little dream comes true with every little thing you do!

Rossa! =D

2009-11-30T17:47:00.003+08:00

Yo! HEHE.

Cancelled plan with Dira AGAIN. -.- woke up late. Shit, I'M SO SORRY, Dira. And ancelled all the plans for today.. So sorry.

Freaking tired. Slept late. Watched movie.. 'Selamat Pagi, Cinta!' LOL. Lambat eh aku. HAHA! =p sodih pe cite.. Huhu.

Wanna share something with y'll. A music video from Rossa - Hati Yang Kau Sakiti. *LOL, da lame tak jiwang, jiwang kejap je. KEJAP JE NI!*

-.- siak. Sunyi jek carik laen. Ni biase. LOL!

Da2, nak maen gitar, nak bace hinge! Hehe. CHAOZ! =D

Hey. =)

2009-11-30T03:17:00.002+08:00

Hey.

I'm loving every moment..

:)

2009-11-29T05:17:00.002+08:00

Watched Case39. Not that scary, though TEMAN! -.- takotkan aku je..

Had fun.

Happy.

Speechless. LOL!

The best thing. :)

LA LA LA ~~~

2009-11-28T03:43:00.004+08:00

Hey, guys!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA! =D

At Nenek's place. Since yesterday. =) maybe until Sunday. Had fun, as per normal. It's raya, so, bla bla bla. LOL.

Nothing much to update. LOL. Busy with "my phone keeps beeping". HAHA! =pp

Seriously can't wait for 5th! =D see you guys, soon!

Next week is gonna be a very busy week. LOL, cam paham. -.-

Monday: No plan.
Tuesday: Out to FarEast with Farah, Lau Pa Sat with counsins and aunt&uncle.
Wednesday: Recording session with Debikz.
Thursday & Friday: Haven't plan anything. *MANELA TAHUUU~~~ ade yang ajak teman buat pape ke. LOL*
Saturday: Zali's birthday celebration.
Sunday: FAMILY DAY. *sejak2 skola ni ade jugak aku rase berkeluarge. LOL!*

ANYWAY, NUR KASIH WAS AWESOME!!! LOVE IT LOVE IT~~ LOL

Psst, I can't sleep. :P

Sorry.

2009-11-26T14:45:00.002+08:00

Something wrong with imeem, I guess. Will upload the songs soon! Cheers.

@ VivoCity. =D

2009-11-24T17:56:00.001+08:00

Nice view from this 2nd floor.

Cancelled plan with Dira. LOL. :p doing nothing but staring at the sky.. Waiting for, .. Err? Nothing? Huhu.

Eh, alamak. Terlupe pat seblah ade orang.. Hahaha. LOL. Chaoz.

Ni namenye step tanak amek gambar. LOL.

JoseAimar; 3 More To Go!

2009-11-24T02:19:00.002+08:00

Meeting Dira at NLB tomorrow, first thing in the morning, k. LOL! =p *tapi tak reti2 nak tido*

Yesterday was just another day. Quite happy with myself.. Composed 3 more songs. The Best Gift, Tak Dihargai and A Story About A Young Girl. LOL! One more day to making my dreams come true. DEBIKZ, thank you for all the support! *teringat Dira konon jadi fanatik fan* and Juan, thanks for helping. =) still need to learn a lot more. With patience and passion, insya Allah la ye. =D

Not going to sleep tonight. Gonna browse through IKEA catalogue, see if I can get myself anything. As in, ANYTHING will do. Huhu. Desperately need something new.. Still looking for job. Hope to get any job soon.. Amiin.

K, tak sabar nak 5th. Err, k tak penting. =p

I Want To Make You Proud Of Me.

2009-11-22T18:04:00.002+08:00

Dear Mum,

I want to make you proud of me when you never will. Since when are you proud of me, mum? Afterall that happened in my life, mum, you don't have any idea how hard my life is. If only these things never happen, it won't be this hard. Mum, trust me I've changed. To the better or worst, I don't know. I ain't helping at all, didn't I? I'm not a good one, right. Never been a good one. Mum, seeing you like this hurts me to a point of showing you the broken path I led until today. Mum, this is heartbreaking, I swear. My life is full of misery. Mum, I always wish to have something, to get something, to do something. I always wish, mum, but I can never fulfill all of them. Never, mum. I'm becoming weaker and weaker instead of stronger and stronger. It eats me from inside, mum. I feel like half of me is totally gone now.. Mum, I can't find them. I can never bring them back, mum. I'm losing myself.. Mum, this is forever.

Goddamnit. I'm A Changed Man. Can't You See?

2009-11-22T16:26:00.005+08:00

Daily..
I’ve been waiting for the time to pass and let it fade in
But baby,
my patience is driving me crazy..

Making me fall apart.

What do you do when the truth isn’t quite enough?
They, looking at you telling you.. We need to break it up?
You need to choose what you do..
It’s you and me in love.

But I'mma make it up to you and show the world..

I’m a changed man.
Cause you mean that much to me..
I don’t wanna be done!
I’m doing all that I can,
and everybody hates Chris..
They can never understand.

So can we love?
Can we love again?

Girl, I know I told you
"baby, this ain’t over"
This ain’t over..
It ain’t over.

I remember your touch
God, I miss you so much..
Please, believe me
baby, I’m sorry?

And all of this money and fame..
Can never amount to every moment when I see your face

Saying "I'm sorry" doesn’t make it alright
I know..
But I believe that we can make it,
if we try?

What's The Best Gift?

2009-11-20T05:59:00.007+08:00

Love?

Neh.

It's actually happiness. :)

So if you were to choose someone who loves or brings happiness to you, obviously, if only you're well-prepared to live without love, then the latter one suits you. =) it's hard to get someone who can really brings joy to your life, ya know? Like, it's very very very hard to get.

Cey. Pagi2 da cakap sal happiness eh. =p know why? Cause.. I figured out something yesterday. Noticed that the feelings are totally different. :)

Thanks, Run! Sedap pe lagu.. Huhu. -.0

TO DO LIST (for this 2 weeks):

Tidy up my room.
Clean up the house. *Raya's coming*
Compose 2 more songs. *then 4 more to go!*
Browse through HINGE magazine. *shit, walaupon cuti tetap kene blaja!*
Look for part-time job. *ikot mum&dad citerase, pfft*
Prepare for Cross-Disciplinary Subject. *hopefully I can get into the Music course*
Get ready for the ambassador thingy. *err, can't believe I participate! See you at NAFA open house. LOL. :P

Wahliao. So many things to do?!

"Baby, I treasure you."

I Was An Asshole.

2009-11-19T20:34:00.004+08:00

Just watched this movie with Eeks. Wahliao. GOOD MOVIE. Seriously. Motivating. Inspiring. Seeing others being happy, makes you want to do something more and more each day. Doesn't mean you need to be happy too to make others happy, am I right? So yeah. Compassion is my nature, remember? I really love The Rock's character in this movie.

Malcolm Moore: "You know you're an idiot, right?"
Sean Porter: "I'm making progress. I used to be an asshole."

I WAS AN ASSHOLE. So true. :\ but I'm making progress. Wahliao. Wanna make my life more worth living. Seriously. Damn.

Hot & Cold Cey~ LOL

2009-11-19T10:21:00.003+08:00

Morning, everyone!

Wahliao~ this is really good, man. You can really sleep like there's no tomorrow. Hoho! :P

I'm still sleepy, though~ -.- like usual la eh, having slight fever. Musim musim..

HAHA. THIS MAKES ME LAUGH SIA. WALAUWEY~ add sendiri delete sendiri. LOL. :P whatever la, eh. Cam paham. Hoho. Penatla, penat nak figure out kenape ngan orang2 camni.. Gi berubah, gi sane gi. Nak jalan pon lebih baek.. Jalan je. Gi. -.- ego tak bertempat sia.. Eh? Ouh, tak. Die tak ego, aku sorang je. Bodoh. Hidop tak abes2 saketkan hidop orang. Tak pena blaja2 dari karma lagi. Ni la namenye bodoh sombong.. Ah? Banyak gadoh banyak sayangnye? Untok sape? Untok ko? Ah yela.. Kalau battery, da flat la sey. 20% remaining je.. Tak paham kan? Ah, biase jugak. Hoho.

Wahlao. Ingat pasal ni buat hari aku panas sey. K2, stop it.

Member busy je nari.. Cam tak jadi jela kan ku rase tengok wayang. So ape lagi kan aku kene buat, tido.......... -_- k, guys. Still early. :D tkcr, have a nice day. :)

WTH? Emo VS Biadap. Emo Better, K? :)

2009-11-19T01:42:00.003+08:00

Erk. Stop it sia.

Think that I'm affected by it, is it?

Never sia.

Step. Cam paham. Kerek.

Rilek sua.

Ni la orang kate, orang2 tak sedar diri.

Fut off, k. Really, fut off.

Bodoh.

Ever saw you at your worst k. Jangan nak bebual world.

Step perfect.

Really, lupe diri. Heh.

Over.

2009-11-19T00:55:00.002+08:00

Sleepless nights over.

But crying over you never ever over.

IMY. Can I Cry?

2009-11-17T01:17:00.002+08:00

IMY. Can I cry?

ILY. Can I cry?

INY. Can I cry?

IWY. Can I cry?

Can I cry?

Can I..?

Can you hear me?

Can you?

Can you listen to my heart?

Can you?

I am completely heartbroken. I don't know about you.

Look into my eyes, like you ever did when you saw me crying.

Tried giving others strength, where's mine? You know where?

I got my own strength when seeing people crying for others.

Why?

Cause they love the one who makes them cry.

It's fun, right.

To catch something you cannot even get close to.

Guess what?

I'm crying.

You Make My Day. :)

2009-11-15T08:54:00.003+08:00

First, alhamdulillah.

Second, thanking my dad for helping a lot this semester.

Third, going out later to meet SR family! *at last*

Fourth, need sleep. Really need sleep! -.0

Fifth, I'm ready for assessment. :)

"Hey, you make my day. Always make my day. Thanks for being there!"

LOL! :P

2009-11-15T00:31:00.009+08:00

Doing my last 4 things to do now. Hehe~ finish everything already except for Fadzli's and Mr Tay's. Not going to sleep tonight! Last day of not sleeping~ wuuuUuuuhuuuUuuu!! =D

Found something. What a joke sey. I know it's just a "sedapkan-hatinye-pasal"! Don't need it. Seesh.

"Lawa?"
"Tak. Haha."

HAHA! STRAIGHTFORWARD, K!

"So, start wondering why are you still waiting, Aiman!?" LOL.

"All the BULLSHIT you put me through.."

When I'm Down.

2009-11-14T01:45:00.002+08:00

"Aku tak tahu eh.. Tapi ade yang menarik aku dari dalam. Siape eh? Ade bayangan yang slalu melintas sejak keblakangan ni. Macam.. Ade sesuatu yang nak disampaikan. Tapi ape eh? Aku tak dapat tangkap."

Percaye tak bile, hati kite berdebar, maknenye ade sesuatu yang tak kene?
Percaye tak bile, otak kite mule berpikir sendiri, kite slalu pikir yang tidak2?
Percaye tak bile, tuboh kite tak mampu lagik bertahan, serte-merte airmate kite mengalir?

Hujan2 gini.. Sunyi bilik ni. Sepi je sekeliling..

Hmm..

Hmm..

Hmm..

Hmm..

Hmm..

Diam jela lebih baik. Cakap pon takde yang bole diubah.. (",)

Sambil-Sambil.

2009-11-13T10:02:00.002+08:00

Morniiiiiiiiiing, everyone~~~~~ =D

Ngantokla sey. Huhu!

Wokaaaaaye~ David's, Botak's & Marienne's works 99% DONE! Left with Mr Tay's, Sinaga's and Fadzli's!

Haven't sleep yet since yesterday, going out later to IOI ArtFriend. Go print at Peace Centre. Then can sleep (for the day!) wahliao. :S

Alright, chaoz! =)

3 more days to assessment!

I Miss You. But I Love Me.

2009-11-13T04:24:00.003+08:00

Still working on my last poster. Then THAT'S IT for digital work.

Screwed up with Fadzli's sphere thingy.

Waiting for Saturday to spray my sculpture.

Lots of work to do.. Yet my mind's not working.

I keep thinking of something, I wonder when it'll end.

".. Or maybe mmg kau in love."
"Ngan sape sia?"
"Ngn aku."
"Ko buat klakar ke klakar buat ko? -_-"

"But it's too late now to say all the wonderful things
that I thought of you.."
- Dear Juliet

CHECK CHECK CHECK!

2009-11-12T01:54:00.007+08:00

Tadi nervous. Skarang tak. Skarang paisey! Haha.

BUROK BUROK BUROK. -.-

K takpe.. Memang guitarist pe. Bukan singer pe~~ *cey, sedapkan hati!* :PP

K.

Mendak.

Tido jela.

Btw, went to school took my sculpture home. And bought the wall putty *last min rushed to CP at 8pm, came back at 8:30pm* and stupid me used my own hands to put on the plaster UNTIL MY FINGERS CRACKED. -.- stupid. Still can play guitar for Mazni. But "it's okay, baby" (FB). HAHAHA!! :P LOL.

K.

TONIGHT CHECKLIST:
Marienne's Poster & Journal
Botak's Sketches

AFTERNOON CHECKLIST:
Fadzli's Works (ALL!) -.-

FRIDAY CHECKLIST:
Sinaga's Drawings (one needs to redo)

SATURDAY CHECKLIST:
Mr Tay's Sculpture! (spray colour!)

Done, back to Eeks & Mazni, MSN. :)

And yeah, start work at 3! :)

Rahsie Cinte. :)

2009-11-11T02:21:00.004+08:00

HAHA! K, ni lame.

Aku blom start buat keje pon.. -_- MAZNI!! Hoho. Hah hah, tengok G.com?! Haha. :P siol. AKU DA PRACTICE NI. TAK SABAR.. WeE~ =D

Just wanna share a song, composed by.. *err, Maz, ni kawan ko nye kawan kan? Hoho* k. Here goes the lyric..

Cahaya di matamu
membuat aku terpaku
membiarkan duka berlalu
kerna kau yang ku mahu dan yang ku tunggu-tunggu..

Bertahun ku menyintaimu
masih belum dapat ku rasakan
bahagia untuk kita berdua..
Mungkinkah kini kau sudah ada yang punya?

Ku menahan rindu di hatiku..
Ku tak mampu meluahkan cintaku
hanya kerana aku takut tuk kehilangan dirimu

Ku biarkan diri ini merana..
Semata ingin engkau bahagia
Tak mengapa andai aku mengalah..
Inilah rahsia cinta.

Pilunya rasa hati
bila engkau tiada di sisi..
Namun kau tahu ku masih menanti
datang kembali kepadaku, ku akan menjagamu

Ku merindukan dirimu,
ku merindu senyum dan tawamu..
Di manakah semua berlalu?
Usah biarkan diriku menangis pilu

Di manakah katamu?
Di manakah janji-janji dulu?
Tak bisakah kau mengerti hatiku
yang lama memendam rahsia..?

Rahsia Cinta. :)

Sedih pe lagu pagi2 gini. THANKS AH EH, MAZNI. :P k, so tomorrow aku KENE *hoho* dedicate kan this song untok Mazni..

Here I come schoooooooooolwoooooooooork~~~~~ =D

Colourful, Huh. My Life Should Be Like This. Hoho!

2009-11-10T22:08:00.002+08:00

Gonna burn tonight until Friday. Burn burn burn.

CHECKLIST:
~~Botak's BusinessCard~~
Botak's Poster (need to edit)
Marienne's Brochure (need to edit)
Marienne's Poster

Shit, man. Now, I'm screwed up! I sat on my own brochure. -.- heart pain la sey tengok brochure aku print nak dekat $10 camtu! Huhu. Sedih pe..

K, Fad. Jangan nak memondan eh.. Hoho! Just came back from school.. Need night shower! *sejak bile entah aku tak mandi malam!* -_-

PLUGIN;
Wali Band - Puaskah

I SWEAR That You Don't Have To Go.

2009-11-10T00:52:00.003+08:00

Busy with Illustrator. But still, saw a moment of truth. Err? Vague truth. Don't know.. But want to know, can? Cannot, right.. I know. :

Fartla. Distracting. It's coming back.. Shit, it's coming back.

Mayday Parade eh? Siol. Distracting betooooOooool~ get off my balls, man. *erk, laen?* =p

I SWEAR that you don't have to go..

What's SO Special About That? -__-

2009-11-09T18:06:00.002+08:00

4 down. 6 more to go! :D alhamdulillah, gotta finish all the 6 songs before assessment ends. Which is next week is my last week.. : k2, insya Allah. I can do it!

Anyway, to my TEMAN.. :) ALL THE BEST, DEAR. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT. MESTI DAPAT A, K DOKTE? :P

Gonna finish up my schoolwork before weekend. 3 down, 5 more to go! *wah, cam challenge jek ngan akunye lagu?* huhu.

K2, today gonna be a looooong day with Adobe. Shit la.. Design lagik. :S

Anyway, MAK AKU NAKGI KL! Hoho. TAPI BAPAK AKU TAK KASI. Huhu. Camne eh tu?! Aku nakgi la. Suro dorang dudok je sini.. Hehe! :D Kelantan banjir.. Camne nakgi sane, Nul, Yani?! :( takpe2, discuss lagik end of November! =D insya Allah kali ni jadi. :) AMIIIIIIIIIIN.

3 Down. 7 More To Go!

2009-11-09T03:00:00.002+08:00

Composed 3 songs already. Need another 7 more! Haiz. Aku ni.. Macam salah masok skola je? Huhu. Bukan nak blaja tau! FAAAAAAAAAADZ?!?!?!

K, good news. My dad bought me a new strings and capo for my guitar. LOVELY! :D THANK YOU, AYAH. HeE~ and I AM SO SO SO HAPPY, da takya maen terbalek lagik sebab slame ni pinjam gitar abang aku! =D k, bad news. MANU KALAH K! KALAH NGAN CHELSEA K! BUAT MALU JE! CIS! Naseb Ronaldo da takde.. Huhu. :D

K, da? Tak reti2 nak tido?! Skarang jalan gi tido.. Hoho. *marah diri sendiri* chaoz!

TAKE CARE!! =D *besok tak jadi gi skola, so happy giler!* wuuuhuuu~~